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Dear custodian of African Culture,

Have you risen with the sun this morning? If so, then doxology.

You seem to be adept in stringing together a list of ideologies/actions that are totally alien to the African culture. For that I must salute your versatility.

However, for posterity sake, kindly—and I hope it's not too much to ask—produce a comprehensive list, with diagrams and trend charts if possible, of everything African and exclusively African. I'm pretty sure this would aid your followers in identifying what ideologies to subscribe to—being an inherent part of their culture (keep in mind, while you do this, the sheer number of different cultures in Africa, some openly conflicting wi
th others) and what to eschew.

I would be most grateful if you accede to this request expediently.

Warm regards.

Yours truly,
A confused African.

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