Anglo9ija

I once took a girl to an art gallery in Abuja, and was left to rue my luck the whole night. Who send me message? That was three years ago though. She tried to tell me she wasn’t into all that art stuff. That she felt a little frightened by paintings. I said you ain’t seen art like the one we’re going to see. Kai, the more painful part was that she used her own mouth to say “Come oh, this boy, when are you taking me out for dinner sef?” That kain thing! You know, with a teasing, affectionate tone. You needed to have seen the mouth wey ask me this thing. Ol’ girl was mad pretty, with a perfect rotundity of hip and breast that made the knees quake. Because na she don dey post me since, you can imagine my delight when the request eventually came. Joyed that the gods of my ancestors were well and truly in my favour for the nwa to give me a chance, I had no idea witches and wizards that pervaded the Naija atmosphere won’t let me be great. Instead to just find better place carry the a...

*Building A lasting Relationship Is Hard Work* I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner. In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart. It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with. In those times, love will not help you; self control will help you, emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life. You think happ...

Nothing beats the sight of a Nigerian big man who thought he had played you, only to end up needing you few years down the line. Especially those money-miss-road specie who struggle to fit their belly inside their shirt so much, you wonder if the tailor didn’t take their measurement. So 2014. Big man wanted to take time out, for the first time in his life to go on holiday with his wife and 4 kids. Never travelled in his life. Passport more virgin than Virginia. Has no time for the paperwork, let alone those of his family. Big man raises the topic with my Dad, and says he wants Dubai. Shocked, my old boy asks how? For all your money, aren’t there better places for vacay? Big man says he hasn’t got a clue, and all these so called better places have too much paperwork involved. My son can assist you, old boy tells him, but you know, you gotta appreciate him well for the effort. Big man says OK, I want Eliza. Fine, I say. I’ll tidy up the forms, ensure your documents are right, ensur...

African passports: The powerful, the weak and the (now) barred from the US by Kate Douglas on '30 January 2017' On Friday US President Donald Trump signed an executive order that barred citizens of seven nations from accessing a US visa to enter the country, effective immediately. Among these are citizens of the African countries Libya, Sudan and Somalia. These countries already have some of Africa’s weakest passports, according to the Arton Capital’s Passport Index, which ranks national passports by how easily they can visit other territories – either without a visa or with a visa on arrival. There are only 37 countries globally a Libyan passport has easy access to, while there are 36 for Sudan and 30 for Somalia (which is ranked the country with the weakest passport in Africa and fifth-weakest in the world). I nterestingly these African countries are also some of the world’s least welcoming – meaning they don’t allow many others in visa-free or visa-on-arrival. Somalia i...

I was once told that using the grinding stone was the way to go. I have heard also that a wise African woman was not supposed to wash with a washing machine,... Our religion, our way of life spells hardship. If u are not living the hard life u are not a correct African.  Hence the controversy that still exist on vaginal birth via CS.  The screaming, yelling and mind blanking pain is still argued as the way to go even God said so. The blackmailing tool. I stumbled on a utility shop on instagram and like damn why did they born me for this country. Doing the conversion to Naria sef did nothing but dampen my spirit more.  Oyibo build things with enjoyment and ease in mind. They take ur passion,desires and create a home for u. Na house wey I no get light wey I go get light glowing center table. Enough of the day dreaming, until I can afford voice sensitive blenders,  make I go start to use to grinding stone😀 it's a long cooking process.

In Naija, when someone tells you “come let’s have lunch” tomorrow at Chicken Republic, you grin yourself to the location, with an empty pocket. Because, not only would you eat on a free, your host is likely to in fact pay your taxi back home, afraid you may have become too heavy to walk. In “the abroad”, when your oyibo friend tells you “come let’s have lunch” tomorrow at Nandos, you had better not start thinking the MENU belonged notoriously to you, and the bill, exclusively on him. No. You cannot do this. I almost learned the hard way on a wintry December noon at Covent Garden. This Norwegian friend had continued to moan that each time I came into town, I vamoosed without a word. How could I have known that his “come let’s have lunch” was on per-head billing? This thing they say about listening to the solemn inner voice. Works like fuck. I tucked 30 pounds in my pocket, money I scarcely had, as I’d only planned to see a Chelsea game the next day, and return to the idyllic Ab...